QUESTION from Boston:
As I look around this world, it seems to me that life isn’t fair. Sometimes bad things happen to good people and there doesn’t seem to be a logical answer as to why. Could you comment?
Drs. Maryann and Matthew: One of the keys in discussing your question lies in the question itself. It revolves around the word, seems. You see, there is always a reason for all events in our world. The fact that we do not see or understand the reason leads us to think that life’s not fair. There are reasons as why life seems unfair.
The reason for this is that we don’t have all the information regarding any particular situation. This leads us to evaluate a situation with limited information and therefore usually from an emotional point of view. The question is how to deal with the experiences we attract, in order to better understand and work through them.
The first step is to realize that situations that cause us to think and question have been attracted as opportunities for growth. We come into this world to grow spiritually and the way that happens is by dealing with others and understanding our differences. This requires that we put aside our prejudices and preconceived opinions that may not be based on fact. How we do this is the key to understanding the apparent inequalities in life. If we are calm and non-judgmental, the process will allow our Higher-Selves to guide us to answers.
We may never know all the aspects of any given situation as that would require information regarding others, which simply stated is not any of our business. We can be judgmental about a person who is not pleasant. However, it may be that the person has had occurrences in her/his life that have contributed to her/his demeanor. The key is to accept, without judgment, that fact and attempt to introduce actions that could potentially help the other person. Sometimes, it just takes a smile or being pleasant yourself that will affect the change.
This is a minor example, however, the process works for situations or conditions more serious. The key is to realize that you probably don’t have all the information. This doesn’t mean that you excuse what you see, just that you place your judgement aside and realize that the situation is there for the people involved, for their growth. As on-lookers, we too have the opportunity to learn something.
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